Quantum Hearts
by Balin Lord of Moria
Summary: Sam makes a jump into one of his least favorite situations: a swinging loser looking to lose his virginity within one night. Can he help save Larry Laffer from executing himself at morning, or will Sam not have the will to carry out his sleazy mission? Oh, how Al envies him! Rated a high T.
1. Why Debauchery, Al?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Quantum Leap_ or _Leisure Suit Larry_. Universal Television produced _Quantum Leap_, and Al Lowe and Sierra Entertainment created and distributed the _Leisure Suit Larry_ series.

* * *

**Quantum Hearts**

_"Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator – and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change history for the better. His only guide on this journey is Al, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Sam can see and hear. And so Doctor Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap… will be the leap home."_

* * *

It always was a strange feeling the way Sam Beckett felt when he made his next quantum leap. To have his essence pulled out of one body and time and pushed into another, it was like someone was using his soul like a volleyball. It was never truly painful, for the mind or the body, but it always left him with a feeling of vertigo when he suddenly realized where he had ended up next. Each new situation seemed stranger and stranger (or weirder and weirder) than the last. He had been in the bodies of numerous women, children, legless war veterans, people he personally knew, even a chimpanzee on one occasion. No wonder he always said, "Oh, boy," when he saw what was happening around him.

But nothing had prepared him for what his next leap had in store for him. As he leaped out of another body and into another one, he found himself standing in a dirty old room full of unmentionables of numerous types. That was the first thing he noticed upon arrival. He saw the second when he looked down at his body, wondering what clothes he was wearing. He wasn't wearing away. He was naked! Third, he saw a clot of clothes lying nearby that look like a short, cheap dress and a white leisure suit. Finally, he noticed the small bed next to him, and that a young, pseudo-attractive woman was lying in it with the sheets pulled up almost to her shoulders. She was naked, too!

Sam couldn't believe it. He had just landed in a hooker's flophouse. And apparently he had just had sex with her, because he also noticed the condom that was the only thing he was wearing!

"Oh, boy," he muttered, as he usually did when he made a leap.

"Oh boy is right, pal," said the hooker sultrily as she puffed on a cigarette and blew smoke up to the ceiling. "For a fat, balding, 38-year-old virgin, you've got damn good style in bed."

Sam looked at her face, trying to keep his eyes off of her assets. It wasn't the kind of face he would consider pretty. "Uh, yeah," he said, "Listen Miss… what was your name again?"

She blinked and pouted at him. "What? You've just hit the sack with me, and you've already forgotten who I am? Typical of men who just want one-night stands! It's Cynthia, though I'm not telling you my last name, Larry."

Sam blinked in surprise this time.

"That's right," said Cynthia, "I didn't forget your name. And I'd suggest you be careful in here, 'cause my pimp'll have your butt in a vise, his arms, really, if he catches you having sex with me for free!"

_Oh, dear God! The prostitute's pimp is in the building too! That's all I need_. Sam mustered up the willpower to speak again.

"Listen, Cynthia," he said, "I've got to go now, if that's all right. But do you know a way out where the pimp won't catch me, like a back door or something?"

"Sorry, there are no back doors," she replied, "But there _is_ the fire escape, just outside that window on the far wall. Be careful, though. The ladder is a bit slippery to climb down, and there's all kinds of sex tools and toys in the dumpster below, if you don't want to get messy."

Sam didn't like the sound of that, but since he didn't know of any other safe way out, he agreed to that. "Thanks, Cynthia. I'll get out of your hair now." He remembered then that he was still naked, and quickly put the leisure suit on. He felt a little dumb and sleazy with it on, something he didn't like at all, but it was the only outfit at hand besides the hooker's dress.

Sam started to leave, and then he noticed a box of chocolate candies on a little table next to a clothesline of unmentionables. "Can I take this box of candy with me?" he asked. "I want to get the monkey off my back after that… stimulating experience we just went through."

The hooker said, "Sure, why not? My pimp always has plenty extra for me (and him) to eat around here. But wait! Are you implying that our sex wasn't as good as you thought if would be? Because I'll be very disappointed if you do."

"Oh, no," Sam said quickly, "It was good! Yeah… it was good. I just want to… expand my horizons a little when it comes to the ladies. You know, try to fulfill my heart's desire as well as my body."

The hooker almost jumped out of bed and spat at him, "You men are all alike! Ya can't find true love with a hooker, so you go looking among the more 'decent, civilized' women of society! Listen, pal, I never wanna see your face again. You just take the candy and get out that window right now, or I'm calling my pimp up here anyway and telling him that you took abusive advantage of me."

"But hookers aren't always bad people-" started Sam, but Cynthia cut him off.

"Get out!" she hissed as quietly as she could, giving him one more chance to leave before she called the pimp.

"Okay, okay," said Sam, "I'm going, I'm going!" He quickly opened the window near the little table and climbed out onto the fire escape, grateful to be out of that putrid room. He was on the second floor of a building with a HOTEL sign flashing in neon letters, and the 'E' failed to flash with the other letters, a sign that it was broken. Sam saw another window next to the one he had just exited, and it looked like something was just inside it, but he couldn't tell what. _Oh well, probably not my business anyway_, he thought. He walked over to the ladder and started to climb down, but the ladder slid downwards unexpectedly, and he lost his grip on the slippery rungs, falling into the dumpster directly below.

"Yuck!" he said out loud.

A familiar voice said from nearby, "Yeah. Lucky for me, I don't have to get dirty in it. By the way, Larry Laffer _does_ want to fulfill his heart as well as his body, but I don't think he'd put it quite that way. He doesn't talk like you, Sam."

Sam started and climbed out of the dumpster in a hurry, cleaning himself off as best he could, accidently pulling a left-handed hammer with the name '"Lefty's" engraved on it out of it with him. Then he turned to face the interior of the alley, and there was his friend and guide once again, the hologram of Al Calavicci.

"Al!" exclaimed Sam, "Where the heck am I? And why was I just making out with a hooker?!"

"Ssshhh! Quieter than that!" said Al, "You want that hooker or her pimp to hear you talking to me?"

"Oh yeah, fine," said Sam in a quieter voice. "But why am I here? And who's Larry Laffer? What's going on?"

"Relax, pal," said Al, "Ziggy and I are working on it right now." He consulted his artificial intelligence device that had "Ziggy" programmed into it. Soon, it began to speak part of the story to them.

_"Larry Laffer,"_ it said. _"38-year-old virgin, lovable loser, and all-around unlucky guy. Lived in his mother's basement during his 20s and 30s, until he could bear it no more, and has now come to Lost Wages, a parallel twin city of Las Vegas, to get laid with the best woman in town."_

Sam stared at Ziggy, not sure what to make of this.

"It appears, according to Ziggy," said Al, "that you're Larry Laffer, a luckless swinger in a fictitious city named Lost Wages. And-"

"What?" said Sam, almost forgetting to be quiet again, "I've heard of quantum leaps into the future, into the past beyond my lifetime, and into animals' bodies, which shouldn't be logically possible, but how can I leap into the body of a man in a city that never even existed except in fiction? Al, that sort of thing can't happen. Science hasn't found a way to do such mumbo jumbo!"

"I don't know, Sam," said Al, "I just don't know, so don't get your silk undies in a knot. Ziggy hasn't figured it out either, but we're working on it. In the meantime, while he works on it, you have to prevent a little tragedy from happening to Mr. Laffer."

Sam looked suspiciously at Al. "What sort of tragedy?"

"Well," said Al, reading more information on his Ziggy device, "apparently, Larry is desperate to find true love, so much so that he needs it _tonight_, before sunrise, or he'll get a loaded gun and kill himself. Then he won't be able to go on a lifetime of future adventures around the world as a suave swinger after his 'true love' eventually dumps him."

Sam was aghast. "You mean I have to keep flirting, smooth-talking, and _making love_ with young girls until I find Larry's 'true love?' How do we even know who this true love is? And what happens to Larry in the original timeline of history?"

"Basically, that's it," said Al, "Though I don't think you'll have to do as much sex as you think you will. Ziggy claims there are only three other women about to come into Larry's life, and one of them is his 'true love,' but Ziggy won't tell me her name, or where she lives. As for the other question, Larry finds a girl named Fawn in a disco club, and they get married quickly, but Fawn betrays him and leaves him behind in the dust, or rather, in bed. Then, he wanders around aimlessly, not knowing how to come on to one of the other two women, getting drunk at Lefty's Bar, which is in this very same building, until sunrise comes, and he kills himself."

"But why can't I just will Larry not to kill himself in the morning? It would probably be pretty easy to do that, even though I'd leap out of his body eventually, and he'd be completely back."

"Ah, now that's another complication," said Al. "Ziggy claims that you will make your next jump at some point shortly before morning, so if you fail, Larry will kill himself anyway."

Sam shook his head in disbelief. "Al, I am _not_ a swinger. I care too much about women for who they are inside to play a sleazy ladies' man. This isn't something I can do."

Al shrugged. "Evidently, you have no choice, as usual, Sam," he said, "It's what you do as the quantum leap time traveler, isn't it? If you don't do it, there's no telling what the cosmic forces will do to you sometime. Frankly," he said with a wink, "I envy you a little. If I were on this mission-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, Al," said Sam, "Your head would be in the clouds of heaven. But the fact is, _you're_ not Larry. _I_ am. And how am I supposed to play the role of a sleazy loser, anyway? I'd probably be too embarrassed, or too humiliated to play the role right."

"Actually, that might not be so hard for you, Sam," Al said. "Usually, losers who want to sound suave with the ladies talk like they're trying too hard to be suave, and don't quite get it right at all. For a man like you, that shouldn't be hard at all, as long as you don't let yourself die of embarrassment or humiliation. Come on," he continued, as Sam looked at the ground, and at his leisure suit in despondency. "It has to be done, or at least tried. It's your job."

Sam heaved a sigh, and looked at Al again.

"Oh, all right," said Sam, "I don't imagine I'll enjoy this, but I guess _maybe_ I can do it, but only to save an innocent man's life, and _not_ out of a desire for kinky sex."

"Good man, Sam," said Al. "Now listen, you need to make some money in order to go on with Larry's quest, and the Casino Hotel, which is a medium-long taxi ride from here, is the kind of place where Larry makes money the most commonly and easily. Just catch a taxi. There are plenty of them working day and night in Lost Wages. I'll meet you there, as soon as Ziggy and I find the right coordinates."

"Okay then," said Sam, resolved to get this done as quickly as possible, "Let's get it over with." He started to walk out of the alley and onto the sidewalk.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" shouted Al. "Wait a minute, Sam! You're not seriously thinking of walking around out there still wearing that rubber, are you?"

"What?" said Sam, ducking back into the alley. Then he noticed that he was indeed still wearing the used contraceptive. Grimacing in disgust, he discreetly rolled it off and disposed of it in the dumpster, after making sure Al wasn't looking. Nonetheless, Al couldn't resist an amused smile at Sam's near-fatal action. Sam noticed a piece of a mirror lying in the dumpster too, and he looked into it, seeing a short man approaching middle age, with dark, balding hair, a fat stomach, and an incredibly boyish and goofy face for someone that age. Shuddering slightly at how unattractive Larry Laffer really was, he put the mirror back and straightened himself out.

"Thanks, Al," said Sam, "But why were you so frantic about it? It's just the two of us here."

"Good evening, sir," an intelligent voice suddenly greeted Sam/Larry from behind. He turned in surprise and saw a police officer in full uniform standing there with a flashlight in hand and a cap on his head. "Nice night for a walk, huh?" the cop asked.

"Uh, yeah, nice night for a walk, all right," he said, smiling sheepishly.

"What's your name, sir?" the policeman asked.

"Sa- uh, Larry. Larry Laffer," he replied. "I'm an out-of-towner. I was out looking for girls."

The cop looked surprised. "A man your age? Well, I can tell you that the clubs, businesses and bars are better places to look than these dark alleys. Listen, let me give you some helpful advice, assuming you don't already know about it."

"Sure," said Sam/Larry.

"First of all, don't go into any more alleys around here, even if you really have to. Bullies and punks always hide behind the dumpsters and garbage cans, looking for people to beat to a pulp. They can be very dangerous. And second, stay away from hookers if you can. Despite the legality of prostitution in Lost Wages, it's still a dangerous thing to get into, and not just because of the pimps."

"Oh yeah," said Sam/Larry, thinking about his excursion with a hooker just now. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Thank you sir," said the officer. "Well, I need to resume my beat now. Have a nice night, Mr. Laffer."

"You too, officer," said Sam/Larry, waving as the cop left.

"Well, that was close," he remarked once the cop was out of earshot.

"I think you handled that pretty well," remarked Al back.

"Thanks, Al," said Sam sarcastically. "Now I guess I'd better get a taxi before anybody else comes along. Do I have enough money for a cab ride?"

Al gestured at his pocket. "Take a look for yourself," he said, "You're not a kid, Sam."

Sam frowned and pulled out Larry's wallet. There was approximately $80 in the wallet at the moment, and he noticed that it also had a little bit of money in a secret compartment. "Better than nothin'," he said, putting the wallet away again.

"Go for it, Larry!" said Al encouragingly. "That's right. From now on, you answer to the name Larry, except when talking to me, of course."

"I know that, Al," said Sam.

And with that, he walked out to the sidewalk and shouted, "YO! TAXI!" He noticed that the aforementioned "Lefty's Bar" was right there in the same building as the hooker's apartment. Al's hologram vanished at that same moment. A cab pulled up, and Sam/Larry got in, hoping he was ready for one of his least favorite things, a night of debauchery.


	2. A Desperate Marriage

"Where to, buddy?" the cab driver asked Sam, or Larry. It sounded like a snarl to Sam's ears.

"The Casino Hotel," he responded.

"Okay, you got it, Mac," the driver said, and they began to drive toward the said casino.

As they drove, Sam, in his guise as Larry, noticed how filthy and run-down much of this "Lost Wages" truly was. There was dirt and crud everywhere, and various things were wrong with the neon and LED signs, like at least one letter being unlit. And there were plenty of flophouses here, there, and everywhere, probably where people could get laid anytime they liked, for a price. And yet, for some reason, Sam felt like this was a good place to try to get lucky with the money as well as with the girls. He saw many women walking on the streets, and not all of them looked like prostitutes. Some were less flashy and more sexy. _Did I just say that?_ Sam thought. _Sexy, instead of decent? I wonder, with no small amount of trepidation, if Larry's personality is starting to take over me._

It wasn't a pleasant thought, but to his horror, it didn't seem an altogether _unpleasant_ thought either.

Before he knew it, the taxi had arrived at their destination. The cabbie turned around and said. "Well, here we are, buddy. That'll be $11.00." Sam took $11 out of Larry's wallet and handed it to him.

"Thanks pal," the cabbie said, "Maybe I'll see ya around again sometime."

I hope not, Sam thought to himself, who had taken note that that miserable excuse for public transportation was just as dirty and trashy as the rest of the city. It even had a piece of toilet paper on the floor. Sam wondered who would be messy enough to leave it on the cab's floor like that.

The Casino Hotel, at least, wasn't like so much else in Lost Wages. It looked clean and attractive, at least from the outside, and its neon sign that said "CASINO" was in good condition and glowing brilliantly. Sam wasn't a gambler by nature, but he hoped that the casino games weren't fixed or rigged against him. He started to walk toward the front doors.

At that moment, a man emerged from out of nowhere nearby and walked toward him. A naked man, with no possessions, except for a big barrel wrapped around his body. Sam/Larry looked at him in surprise, but then he decided that such things shouldn't be considered surprising in Lost Wages.

"Hello, sir," the man greeted him. "Would you be willing to help out a poor unfortunate by purchasing an apple? The price is reasonable: only $1.00."

Sam/Larry thought for a moment. He decided that it was the right thing to do to help a bum, even if he did look disgraceful, and he paid him a buck for the apple.

"Thank you very much, sir," said the man, "Please remember to call again if you are ever in the neighborhood." And with that, the naked man walked away with his buck and his barrel.

Sam was startled by Al's voice from behind him. "That was a smart thing to do, Sam," he said. "But I wouldn't recommend eating that apple yourself any time soon."

"Al! You startled me!" said Sam, turning around to look at him.

The naked man paused for a second and asked Sam/Larry, "How do you know my name is Al?"

"Uh, no, uh…" stammered Sam/Larry, and then he thought of an excuse. "Lucky guess."

"Oh, all right then," said the naked Al, "I'll try not to sneak up on you again if there's ever a next time!"

"Uh, thanks, Al," said Sam/Larry, as the man rushed off. Then he turned to the holographic Al and said, "What do you mean I shouldn't eat the apple?"

"Well," said Al, "You never know when a pretty lady might appreciate such a gift. Especially since you have only one rose in your pocket."

"I have a rose in my pocket?" asked Sam.

"Sure," said Al, "You picked it up outside the bathroom at Lefty's."

Sam stared at Al. "Kind of an odd place for a rose, don't you think?"

"You think that's weird," said Al, "You found the diamond ring that's also in your pocket _inside_ the bathroom. And man, is that bathroom a hell-hole!"

"This gets stranger and stranger all the time," remarked Sam. "And that reminds me, I've got this hammer from Lefty's dumpster too. You think I should keep it?"

"Of course," said Al, "Larry's adventuring motto is, 'Pick up anything that isn't nailed down.'"

"Reminds me of stealing," said Sam with reservations. "Well, I guess I'd better get inside and gamble my fortune before I look suspicious again."

"Yeah, good idea," said Al, and Sam/Larry stepped inside the Casino Hotel through the sliding glass front doors, with Al's hologram walking through the glass.

* * *

Inside, the casino wasn't as big as Sam was expecting, but it was still quite attractive for a casino. There were two blackjack tables on one side of the spacious room, attended by both male and female blackjack dealers, all of them dressed spiffy. The woman's blackjack table was open for a fresh player. On the other side were two rows of slot machines, many of which were being used at the time.

"So," he whispered to Al, trying to look inconspicuous, "which do you recommend? The blackjack table, or the slot machines?"

"It's up to you," Al replied. "Larry Laffer enjoys both games. But if I were you, I'd try the blackjack table, because you have more control over how much you win or lose in a card game you have partial control over than you do with a random machine that doesn't even think for itself."

Sam thought for a second. "Okay, I'll try playing blackjack then. Like I said, you know I'm not much of a gambler, but I basically know how to play the game." He walked over to the open blackjack table and asked the lady if he could play the game.

"Of course, mister," she said, "Anyone 21 or over is welcome to play in this casino."

And for the next half hour or so, Sam Beckett/Larry Laffer gambled to the best of his ability. Initially, his luck wasn't very good, because Sam's blackjack talents were rather amateurish. But before he could lose too much, Al got behind the blackjack dealer and observed the cards she dealt. Then he gave Sam quiet advice on how to play his hands, and Sam started to get a little better. He managed to make three blackjacks as he played, and he also won a hand on a double down. After winning a hand that included a dealer bust and a bet of $20, the maximum bet for the casino, Al told Sam that it was a good time to gather his winnings and leave. Sam did so, thanking the dealer for such a good time. He even flirted with her a little, wondering if she was one of the other lucky ladies he had to meet, until Al informed him that the dealer wasn't one of Larry's dream girls.

After leaving the table, Sam said to Al quietly, "Where to next, Al?"

"Well, according to the historical timeline," said Al, looking at Ziggy again, "Larry meets his second girl at a disco about ten miles from here. But the disco is a private club, and you need a membership to get in. Fortunately, I know where Larry found his ticket to enter the disco. Follow me, Sam."

Al led Sam northward into another room. There was a glass elevator, some fake plants as decorations, an ashtray, and a doorway to the Cabaret Lounge.

"Okay," said Sam, "So where's this ticket you've been telling me about?"

"Look in the ashtray," said Al. "Someone left it there by accident. And don't feel bad about taking it. From Larry's POV, he was just 'borrowing' it, and he never gets in trouble for it in the future."

Sam grimaced. "Stealing again, huh?" He looked in the ashtray and there was indeed a disco membership pass lying inside it amongst some old ashes. Sam took it out and cleaned it off as best he could. "This had better be worth it, Al," he said, turning back to Al, but his friend was walking into the Cabaret Lounge.

"Al! We don't have time to waste looking at showgirls right now! Come on, let's go!" he implored Al.

"Aw, come on," said Al, "I haven't seen an 80's cabaret in so long. Just for a few minutes, Sam. I want to see what kind of class and culture they have here in Lost Wages' Casino Hotel."

Sam sighed and reluctantly followed Al into the lounge. A troupe of dancing girls in skimpy yellow dresses were doing a dancing routine before a small crowd. Al was gazing at the women with fascination. Sam rolled his eyes.

"Sam," said Al at that moment, "Don't forget, unlike me, you're literally here. You've gotta blend in with the crowd. That means you have to sit down, and you have to look like you're having a good time, just like Larry would."

Sam sighed again, but with great reluctance, he put on his best ecstatic expression and sat down at a table with the worst possible view of the stage, watching the girls dance and pretending to be entranced by them.

Al started to dance along with the girls, which annoyed Sam. They all kept up the pace for about fifteen more minutes. Finally, the show came to an end, and the showgirls made a curtsy to the appreciative crowd. Sam clapped his hands and smiled at them, trying to look like he was proud of them. But as they went backstage, a man came out to the side of the stage with a set of drums, and he introduced another man in a tuxedo, who came onstage and started telling jokes.

"Why don't sharks attack divorce lawyers?" he asked the crowd.

"Professional courtesy!"

(drum roll)

"How can I tell that my wife is having an orgasm?"

"She drops her nail file!"

(drum roll)

Al came back to Sam/Larry. "This comedian is lame, not to mention perverse. Let's get out of here."

Sam said, "I couldn't agree more, Al." Suddenly some of the people were staring at him, including the comedian. He smiled sheepishly at them and quickly walked out, followed by Al. The people looked at him like he was wacko, and then the comedian resumed his routine.

"Now, you go to the disco," instructed Al. "I'll be watching you, but this time, I can't help you directly. You'll have to figure out for yourself how to win the favor of the girl you'll meet there."

"I can do that, Al," said Sam, "I _did_ date girls myself once upon a time, you know."

"Then we shouldn't have any problem," said Al as Sam/Larry called a taxi. To his surprise, he got the same cabbie as before. He snarled, "Where to, buddy?" Sam told him the disco, and the ride and the man's choice of words, were exactly the same as before.

* * *

At the disco, Sam found a big man acting as its bouncer. As he approached the open doorway, the bouncer said, "HALT! I'm sorry sir, but this is a private club."

Sam pulled out his "borrowed" membership pass and laid it on the bouncer.

"Oh, thank you sir," said the bouncer, "I'm so sorry, I didn't recognize you sooner. Come in." The bouncer stepped aside to let Sam/Larry in.

Inside the disco, there were numerous men sitting at tables, and they were all dressed exactly like Larry was. _Must be a lot of single guys feeling lonely tonight_, Sam thought. Then he saw one girl sitting alone at a table off to the side. Sam guessed she was the girl he was looking for. She was a blonde and wore a short, clean, pink dress. _Good_, thought Sam. _She's probably_ not _a hooker_.

He sauntered over to the table and asked the lady, "May I join you?"

She smiled sweetly and joked, "Why? Am I coming apart?"

Despite himself, Sam couldn't resist laughing for a moment. Then he sat in the chair opposite the lady, whose make-up certainly made her look quite stunning, even to Sam.

"Hiya baby! My name's Larry, Larry Laffer. What say you and me get it on?" Sam/Larry asked awkwardly, but enthusiastically.

She seemed a little pissed off by that remark. "Get lost, creep!" She frowned.

Sam got very nervous. He couldn't afford to lose this girl if he was to fulfill his mission. Thinking quickly, he felt for the rose Larry had picked up earlier and offered it to her.

Her frown changed to a smile. "Aw, you're so sweet! I just love roses!" She took it gratefully and said, "You know, fella, I might be a little more willing to 'get it on' with you if you have some more prizes for me." She batted her eyes at him.

"Okay," said Sam/Larry, "How do you like chocolates, baby?" He handed her the box of chocolates he had saved.

"Aw, you're so sweet! I just love candy!" she said with more enthusiasm than before.

"Hey listen, babe," said Larry, "The dance floor's open. What d'ya say we do a little boogie-woogie together? It'll be a lot of fun!"

"Aw, you're so sweet! I just love dancing!" she said, jumping up and racing to the tiled dance floor. Sam wondered if she ever had a wider vocabulary than that when she was in love.

"Come on, Larry, what are you waiting for?" she called, as some music started to play and the tiles and the strobe lamp lit up, "I'm getting hot for you!"

Sam/Larry hurried out to the floor and joined her. They danced all kinds of rowdy dances, and not just the boogie-woogie. At one point, Larry even picked up the lady and tossed her into the air, and managed to catch her again. They kept dancing to the upbeat music until they both had to take a break. They returned to their table.

"That was great, Larry!" said the woman. "By the way, my name's Fawn."

"Hey, Fawn!" said Larry. "Listen, I've got one more gift for you." He pulled out the diamond ring Larry stole earlier and offered it to her.

"Aw, you're so sweet! I just love diamonds! Oh, I think I'm madly in love with you, Larry Laffer! I want to make wild, passionate love to you!"

Sam almost recoiled at her directness. It surprised him that Fawn would be so attracted to a man as unfit as Larry Laffer.

"But first," Fawn was saying, "we must get married. I could never make love to a man who's not my husband. If you could loan me a hundred dollars, I'll arrange for us to stay in the Honeymoon Suite at the Casino Hotel. After that, we'll get married at the wedding chapel next door, and then, after we're married, then we'll celebrate."

Sam thought this sounded perfectly reasonable, so he gave her one hundred dollars in cash.

"Aw, you're so sweet! I just love money!" she exclaimed.

Sam decided it was time to leave just then. _I'll bet she loves money_, he thought. _But she admits it in the silliest way. I wonder if her love for money has something to do with her betrayal of Larry._

He left the disco, just after Fawn rushed out the door herself. She was nowhere it sight when Sam/Larry came out. Nodding politely to the bouncer, he called for a taxi again, and the same old driver was told by him to drive him to the wedding chapel by the Casino Hotel. The driver agreed.

Before they drove away, Sam thought he caught Al standing in front of the taxi, giving him the thumbs up. He started to go wild as the taxi drove right through his hologram, pretending to be run over by it, and then he disappeared.


End file.
